


Poison

by ADbLOCK



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, I suck at tags, Poison, Poisoning, Post-Season/Series 03, Slow Burn, yay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-06
Updated: 2016-06-06
Packaged: 2018-07-12 15:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7111891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ADbLOCK/pseuds/ADbLOCK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They were poison.</p><p>He was poisoned.</p><p>(Slow burn Bellarke. Post Season 3. I hope you like it!)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Poison

**Author's Note:**

> I love slow-burn Bellarke and I have no idea why. So this is some slow-burn Bellarke and some character analysis between the lines. Hope you like it!

Poison.

Poison, she thought.

She was poison.

Her head was spinning lightly as her vision started to clear. Her eyes scanned the throne room. Bodies were scattered around. Covered in mud, sweat, and blood. Now in tears as the past events dawned on them. Now they were covered in shame and regret as they realized what they had done to innocent people, to their kin, to their friends.

The scene wasn't new to her. It was an old sight welcoming her like an old friend, continuously whispering the word "Wanheda" to her as it slowly changed to a viscous monster, trying to tear her apart. The whispers, the cries, the mourning.

She remembered Luna and her people.

She remembered Mount Weather.

She remembered the battle at the Dropship.

She remembered Atom. Finn. Maya.

_Lexa._

They were all but flashes in her mind reminding of who she had become, of what she had become.

Poison.

Everything she touched, dies in her hands, crumbling away like dust. Now she could feel it again. She could feel her curse starting as it slowly spread to the whole planet.

96% of the human race will die because of her.

She was indeed poison.

Poison.

* * *

Poison, he thought as Octavia drove her blade into Pike's gut.

At that moment, his heart churned at the sight. His mouth opened in silent shock. His body grew cold as he watched his sister's face flicker in realization.

No.

He didn't want this.

Vengeance was poison he was all too aware of, and it was something Octavia should never taste.

But she did.

_And it's your fault._

He blinked a couple of times to stop the tears from falling down his eyes. It was true though. It was his fault. He was blinded by the very same poison that was now in her sister's veins. And, god, it hurt because he always thought he needed to protect her from all of this. He never thought she actually needed protection against him.

If he hadn't been so stupid and angry, all of this wouldn't have happened. Lincoln wouldn't have died. And no, Octavia wouldn't go back to that girl under the floorboards, but she would at least stay safe. Safe in not his hands but in Lincoln's and that was enough.

Sometimes he actually wondered what if he wasn't on the "wrong" side, by Pike's side. What if he had actually chosen to believe in the Grounders? Maybe Lincoln wouldn't have died. Maybe even Lexa wouldn't have died and as the 13th Clan, maybe they could help each other fight A.L.I.E.

What if.

But he didn't. And now Octavia was walking away without sparing a glance at him.

It was all his fault.

_I'm sorry, O._

* * *

It had been weeks since she finally pulled the kill switch and destroyed A.L.I.E.

It was hard. There was an unspoken truce between Skaikru and the Grounders as everyone needed time to recover, to get back on their feet. But it was obvious they had to talk over it once and for all. Kane wanted to give another shot at the negotiation of being the 13th Clan, however there was still no news on who the next Heda would be. All the Nightbloods are gone, save for Luna who made it clear that she didn't want the Flame.

Clarke stood by the hatch of the fallen Ark as she watched the camp slowly recover. Things were starting to return back to normal. She thought.

_As if you would know. You left these people._

She ignored the voice inside her head and watched people walk around camp, doing their usual business. The horrified and sad shadows that once loomed over their faces were starting to clear as the sun shone once more over the mountains.

Her eyes fell on the small group huddled by a corner. A small smile graced her lips as she watched Jasper grin at one of Monty's jokes, as Harper braided Raven's hair while Raven pout in annoyance, as Miller laugh at his boyfriend.

Some people were starting to get back on their feet, some were still recovering. But everything was good. Everything was starting to be fine.

But who was she kidding? Of course, everything was not going to be fine when the impending catastrophe awaits them in the future. She hadn't told anyone but Bellamy.

Bellamy who was missing as usual.

It was rare to find him doing nothing these days. The moments that she saw him was all about business. What are we going to do? Should we tell Kane and Abby? How can we stop it? It was tiring honestly, but she knew he was right. She knew that they really had no time to spare. Also, she knew that he was hurting because of Octavia who they never saw after she killed Pike. She understood that he was beyond worried. Terrified of what would become of his sister. They should probably send out a search party, but they also knew it wouldn't do any better. Octavia knew these woods more than they do. And if she doesn't want to be found, she wouldn't be found.

Clarke really couldn't blame him, but she just wished that he could at least stop for a minute and just breathe because she was tired, so, so tired of everything. She knew he felt the same way. Sighing, she made her way towards the group, knowing that there was really nothing she could do about the stubborn bastard.

* * *

Jackson appeared in the infirmary. "Abby, we're running out of herbs and plants."

"I'll get those." Clarke answered, earning a look from her mother. She raised her eyebrow in question as her mother stared at her in disbelief.

"Okay, I'll just come back." Jackson said as if sensing the mother-daughter conversation they were going to have.

"What, Mom?" Clarke asked when Jackson stepped out of the infirmary.

Abby walked towards her slowly, gripping her shoulders tight. "Clarke, I..."

"I'll be careful, Mom." she reassured her, knowing what she was going to say.

"I know you'll be careful, but there's still danger out there. There's been reports of killings even after A.L.I.E."

"I'll go with her." They both whipped their heads towards the new voice. Standing by the door was none other than the curly-haired guardsman. Scratching his head, he said, "I happened to hear your conversation when I passed by."

Their eyes met in silent agreement, and Clarke looked at Abby. "Bellamy's gonna keep me safe and I promise I'll be careful."

Looking at the both of them, Abby sighed, thinking that there was nothing she could do with these two. "Okay."

Clarke pulled her into a tight hug. "I'll be back soon."

"Yeah." Abby replied.

Clarke found his dark brown eyes and gave him a nod, signaling that they were to leave right now. Just as they were about to leave, Abby gripped the boy's arm. "Keep her safe."

He glanced at Clarke who was already meters ahead of him, watching the way her hair swayed behind her as she walked. Suddenly the question seemed silly to him. He looked back at Abby, replying with a voice low enough only for her to hear.

"Always."

* * *

They both walked in the woods in comfortable silence.

Not a word was spoken between them, only a few words of caution because of the terrain. You could say Clarke was used to this. The silent Bellamy. She understood that silence. That was what happened to her during her first few weeks of being alone in the wilderness. It was when she realized the scale of what she had done, when she saw herself as nothing more but a bringer of darkness and death, when she realized that they were all right to call her "Wanheda". But that was different. It was different because she decided to make that choice. She decided to leave Arkadia, to leave _everyone_.

Not Bellamy. He stayed. God knows what he did, but she was certain that he tried to run the camp with the best that he could, that he tried to bring the broken pieces of these people's hearts together, that he tried to fix everyone. And he did. Kane and Abby were there, but Clarke believed a big part of it was thanks to the man walking beside her.

Her eyes flew to the curly-haired man, his eyes downcast on the ground, his knuckles white from gripping his gun tight. His face was blank like it usually was these past few months, but that wouldn't fool her. She knew even without looking at him or asking him that he was suffering. Suffering so much maybe even greater than hers.

She chose her own path. She made that decision with full knowledge that anything could happen. Indeed, she lost battles along the way. She lost people. She lost her lover. And it hurt so much because it felt like punishment for what she did. But he chose the hard path. He chose to stay for their people, for the good of their people. God, it should have been okay. It should have been the right one. But fate was cruel and it threw him into a whirlwind of pain and regret and he lost everything.

She deserved everything that had happened to her because she chose to leave. And a part of her knew that it was because she was afraid of what she had done.

He didn't deserve any of this. He lost Gina because of her, because she left. Her shoulders grew heavy at the realization that Gina's death and everyone else that died that time was in vain because she chose to stay at Polis. Because she chose to play safe and chose to be afraid of what Arkadia was going to say. And maybe she was also starting to wonder whether it was really for the better or it was only because of the Heda that sat on the heart of Polis.

He lost himself. After their encounter in the throne room, his eyes were never the same. In the small snippets of time that allowed her to breathe, she tried to find the man that he had become before the Ark fell. She tried to look for the man that knew her so well that it scared her because even Wells didn't understand some parts of her. Many times she could see the internal conflict burning behind his eyes. Finally he lost himself into rage and vengeance, and then he lost his sister. Even Octavia didn't deserve what happened to her. Lincoln. Raven. Monty. Jasper.

She realized they all didn't deserve it. She realized it all happened because of her. She took in a breath as the realization broke her heart into pieces, as tears stung her eyes.

"Clarke."

His deep voice rumbled inside her body, making her shiver at the sound.

She whipped her head to look at him, and found his brown eyes staring heavily at her, his face unreadable. She realized it was a mistake because she felt the tears well up behind her eyes. She quickly looked away, rubbing her eyes as if she had something on her eye. "Yeah?"

"You alright?" he asked, his voice warming her body in a way that she couldn't explain.

"I'm fine." she replied, still not looking at him.

She managed to steal a glance to find his eyebrows furrowed, his mouth hung open. Whatever he was going to say, it seemed that he decided not to speak of it instead. He walked a couple of steps ahead of her before stopping to look at her over his shoulder. "We're here."

She waited until he decided that the place was clear. It was slightly unnerving too see how hard he was trying to keep her safe. She could keep herself safe. Plus, he really didn't have any good reason for keeping her alive since...

She shook her head, trying to stop her thoughts. Now wasn't the time to think of those. All she had to do was take these berries and herbs and get back to camp as soon as possible. She worked silently, only the sound of grass ruffling under his heavy boots as he monitored the place. Focusing on the feel of her blade, it wasn't long before she found all the ingredients they needed.

That was when they heard something. Her eyes found his and she lifted her jacket to show him a pistol inside her pocket. He sent her a nod, lifting his rifle at the direction of sound.

It all happened so fast. The next second, men came flying down from above. The flash of their blades caught her eye, causing her to react a second too late. And she found herself under a man who held a knife to her throat with nothing but her hands to stop the tip from touching her skin.

"Wanheda." the man said, his breath trickling her face. "You've killed us once again."

She gaped at him, trying to focus on keeping the blade away from her.

"You shouldn't have taken us from the City of Light."

And she understood who these people were. She heard some rumors that there was a minority that actually believed the City of Light was the way to go. She never really believed they existed because ALIE was torturing people to "save" them. Apparently, they did.

"You know what? I think the blade does not deserve such a reward." the man above her said. He took the blade away and wrapped his hands around her throat. "My hands, on the other hand, would be very much delighted to crush the Wanheda."

She felt his grip tighten. Gasping for air, she tried to struggle against his grip, but he was huge man. She resorted to feeling for the knife that he put away, but all she felt was the grass beneath her fingertips. Her vision blurred as black spots danced around the edges. In the end, she didn't even try, just let the darkness slowly eat her up.

Then suddenly the darkness shattered and light found its way back into her vision. She didn't feel the weight of the man on top her anymore. She pushed herself off the ground, her hand rubbing the bruises forming on her throat. She looked up and saw Bellamy knock the man unconscious with his fist.

"Are you okay?" he asked, breathless.

She nodded, still finding her breathing. He slowly approached her, offering his hand. "We should go. There could still be more of them."

Pulling herself up with his hand, she nodded and asked him in a hoarse voice. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm okay. Let's go."

They both walked, their steps a little bit faster, their strides a little bit larger. They were quite far from the area when she realized that she was still holding his hand. His warm hand. That was why she suddenly felt safe, even after her attack. Because she knew he was there.

Suddenly his grip tightened. She looked at him, about to ask what the matter was when she noticed that color was draining from his face. Her eyes widened at the red blossoming on his shirt. Moving his jacket away, she cursed internally. It was a big gash on his torso. It should be alright if it wasn't for the groan that came out of his lips and his legs buckled, causing them to fall on the ground. His body started to twitch and his hand felt hot against hers.

Then it clicked.

Poison.

Her heart hammered as she removed his jacket. Her hands were shaking as she reached for her pack, trying to find the right herb. It wasn't enough to get rid of the poison, but it should be enough to delay the effects or at least stop the twitching. She noticed that his eyes were starting to roll back into his eyes, his skin grew even hotter.

"Bellamy. Can you hear me, Bellamy?"

She saw no sign of recognition as his eyes started to droop close. Her stomach fell in panic as she cupped his face. Pushing the pieces of hair that stuck onto his sweaty forehead, she placed hers against his, begging him to stay strong.

"Bellamy, you have to stay awake. You have to stay strong, Bellamy. You know, I can't lose you. You have to stay awake, Bellamy."

There was nothing like the relief that passed through her when he hummed in approval, his eyes looking at him tiredly, his face looking deadly pale.

They had to get back to her mother. Fast.

* * *

Thank God that someone in the camp studied poisons. They quickly made the antidote and she watched as his body stopped twitching and as his face started to return to its healthy color.

When it was all over, she realized that she was holding her breath the entire time. She could see the relief in her mother's eyes and pulled her into a tight hug. That was when she felt the pain blossoming on her back. She gained a large bruise on her back caused by the fall when the man pushed her to the ground.

"Clarke, let me treat that bruise or it'll get worse." her mother told her, guiding her out of the room.

She shook her head. "I can't. I need to-"

Abby trapped her in her arms. "Clarke. He's going to be fine. He's just resting."

Clarke's eyebrows furrowed as tears started to sting her eyes, looking at his sleeping form. She looked at her mother, the tears pooling on her eyes threatening to fall. She lost Finn. Then Lexa (God, just thinking of her name made her want to shout in anger and frustration). Losing Bellamy was the last line. She didn't want to lose anyone anymore.

"But, Mom, it was my fault. They were after me."

"No, Clarke. It wasn't your fault. You didn't know that those men were going to attack."

"He almost died, mom." she answered. "I almost lost him."

"There was nothing you could do, Clarke. You didn't have the power to change would have happened."

"I did, if I didn't leave." she snapped, the first drop of tear rolling down her cheek.

Abby fell silent, her lips parting in surprise at her sudden outburst.

"If I didn't leave, none of this would have happened. The Grounders wouldn't have fought at the coalition. Pike wouldn't have done what he did. Raven wouldn't have been tortured. Monty wouldn't have lost his mom. Octavia would have lost Lincoln. And Bellamy... He wouldn't have lost... He wouldn't..."

Her voice hitched as Abby pulled her daughter tight into her arms. Her baby girl. She was no longer a baby with all the things that a 18-year-old girl shouldn't have faced. Her heart broke for her princess who used to smile and laugh like the sun, who used to draw on her face on her skin. Yet she needed this. She had to do this to break herself from the chains of her past.

They fell to the floor. And Clarke told her everything right from the start, the moment they landed on the Ground. She told her about Finn, the way he smiled and made her feel like the Ground wouldn't be so bad. About Lexa, the way she stood proudly in front of everyone yet showed Clarke a side of her that she didn't share with anyone. Everything. With tears streaming down their cheeks until their voices were hoarse from talking and talking, until their eyes were swollen and no more tears would come out.

* * *

His head was pounding and blood was gushing to his ears. He tried to open his eyes, but clenched them shut at the sudden brightness. Spots danced behind his eyelids and it wasn't long before he felt the pull of the darkness once more.

"...almost died, mom. I almost lost him..."

He slipped out out of consciousness and slipped back in, just in time to hear the tears in her voice.

"If I didn't leave...Bellamy...He wouldn't have lost..."

Then he blacked out.

It only felt like minutes before he slipped back into consciousness, trying to move his body and wincing at the sharp pain on his torso. His vision was as blurry as his memory was. All he remembered was that they tried to get back to camp after the attack, and the next thing he knew they were on the ground with Clarke hovering above him, whispering words to him. Then he was lying down and people were scrambling everywhere. They were talking and touching him. He remembered drinking something and then he started to fade out of consciousness.

Once his vision cleared, he opened his eyes, slowly trying to push himself out of the bed. The soreness of his body made it a challenge to sit but somehow he managed. And he was met with a pair of brown eyes. Very much like his. His eyes widened and his mouth hung open in surprise.

"I heard you were poisoned." Octavia said as she leaned on the table across the room.

Yes, he remembered now. The men who attacked them must have prepared for any chance that they had, aiming for a sure kill. His eyes caught something move beside Octavia and found Clarke on the couch, soft snores coming out of her mouth. Octavia must have noticed that he was looking at her. "They say she almost never left the room. Only to eat and to sleep."

He would have given it more thought, but he didn't because Octavia is here. She's back home. His eyes moved back to his little... _younger_ sister and studied her eyes that were as cold as he had once remembered. And god, it hurt so much to see her like this, so unattached and distant from anything. From him. He knew she didn't listen to him and for god's sake, he should be angry at her, but of course, he wouldn't. No matter what she did, in the end, all that mattered was that she was back. No matter how many times she left him, he was going to welcome her back with open arms every single time.

"You're back..." he said, hearing the hoarseness of his voice but ignoring it.

She avoided his gaze. "I'm just passing by. I heard you were sick so I decided to visit."

He didn't buy it, not when he could see the familiar crease on her forehead when she lies, a thing he had grown to learn after teaching her to play cards. He didn't push her though and gave her the peace of mind. Instead, he stretched his arms, reaching for her. She was so far away sitting on the other side of the room. Not moving an inch, she simply stared at his outstretched hand. For a moment, he was afraid that she wasn't going to accept it, but he decided that he would at least wait and try. Their eyes met and he gave her a small smile, trying to see past those high walls she built around herself. Relief passed through him when she finally moved towards him. She didn't reach for his hand, but she was close enough for him to pull her into a tight hug.

He knew well what she was doing to herself. They were siblings, after all. And he also knew that a simple gesture was worth millions to them, to her. He felt wetness on his neck and tears stung his eyes at the thought of what had happened to them, between them, around them. It had been so long since they've hugged like this. God, he missed her so much.

"I'm sorry..." her voice echoed in his ears as shivers went down his body.

With a shaky voice, he pulled away to look her in the eyes.

"What are you saying, O?" he asked, looking away from her eyes and felt shame fill his heart. "I should be the one apologizing. I did...I can't...God, I was so stupid, so blind."

He felt her arms wrapping around him in another hug. They stayed like that until Octavia's breath evened out and the tears on their cheeks were dried.

"It's okay." Bellamy thought he was imagining things with her voice almost inaudible.

"I know why you did what you did." she said, her voice soft. "Looking back, maybe I would have done the same. After all, you're my brother, right?"

She gave him a small smile and he just couldn't help but grin at her because it had been a while since he saw her smile even for just a bit.

"When are you leaving?" he asked, silently wishing that she would tell him otherwise even when he knew it was very unlikely.

Octavia looked away for a moment. "Soon."

They both fell in silence. The silence was reassuring knowing that she was there, but it was also unnerving knowing that she would leave once again.

"I'm not ready." she admitted.

He just nodded. He really couldn't force her to stay. And even if he could, he wouldn't. He understood that she needed time and space. Yet he couldn't help but be worried, especially with what happened to him and Clarke.

"I know what you're thinking, Bell. Don't worry I'll be safe in Luna's haven."

His eyes widened both at the mention of his old nickname and Luna. No one ever called him that but Octavia. His heart warmed at the sound of it.

"Lincoln lived there. I want to be with his people for a while. Plus, I think Luna doesn't care who I am."

"Okay." he simply said.

Silence filled the room once more. This time Bellamy felt better. Surprisingly, Octavia leaving didn't make him as afraid as he was when she left. That was because they were different now. He had been finding the right time to try and talk to her. He knew they needed to talk about things, even though it was going to be difficult. They needed this.

"Well, want to grab a drink or two before you go?"

She narrowed her eyes at him, but her lips stretched into a genuine smile. "What? No 'Don't drink too much, O'?" she said in a mocking tone.

They both laughed. And he realized that they were all too young for all this shit. They deserved a lot of things.

* * *

Bellamy watched as Octavia slowly walked away from the camp. It was hard letting her go when she clearly missed everyone in their mini celebration of her return. It was hard, but she needed it. All he wanted was the best for her and if this was what she wanted, then he was going to give it to her even if he wasn't entirely okay with it. He continued to watch her until she disappeared into the forest.

The sight made his chest tighten. Another piece of memory flashed in his mind, remembering a kiss on his cheek and secret goodbyes. When the gates were closing, he quickly checked for the blonde woman standing just beside her and found that she was gone. His heart hammered inside his chest as he tried to look for her in the bustle of Arkadia. There was no sign of her, but he told himself to calm down. She wouldn't leave. She told him she wouldn't. Then again she could say that and still leave just like she did before. He shook his head off of those thoughts. Bellamy believed in her. Yet he really couldn't help but keep an eye out for her the entire day as he did his guard duties as Kane had assigned him to.

It was already nightfall and Bellamy was growing more worried. He tried to ask discreetly and found that no one had seen her. He didn't want to assume just yet so he told himself he would wait until the next day before bringing the news to Abby and Kane.

He was sitting with the rest of the delinquents, having silently claimed a spot of their own. It was a whole different scene from the last time they were together in Arkadia, trying to stop ALIE from doing anything. This time everyone was smiling. Everyone was laughing and it was just something Bellamy thought he would never see again because it just seemed like it would never stop. Just then when he lifted his head, he spotted her slipping past the houses, nearing the borders of the walls.

When she didn't come out a few minutes later, he knew what she did. He grabbed another piece of apple and made his way towards her direction. It was dark, but she wouldn't have gotten far. Clarke wasn't that stupid. If she wanted to leave, she wouldn't have been so careless as to let anyone see that she left. True enough he spotted her figure a few meters away from the camp in a small clearing. She sitting on the ground with her back behind a tree. He slipped beside her, a wave of deja vu hitting him.

"Hey." he said.

"Hey." she replied. "How're you feeling?"

"Better."

"That's good to hear." she simply said, her eyes still glued to the sky above them.

Bellamy followed her position and watched as the moon shone brightly and millions of stars above them twinkled like fireflies in the air. It was a sight to be seen. It was moments like this that made Bellamy forget just how cruel the Ground really was. Looking at the apple he was rolling in his hand, he glanced at her and offered the fruit to her. She looked at his hand, clearly avoiding his gaze, and looked away.

"No thanks."

Bellamy frowned. Something was wrong and he didn't understand what it was. "You have to eat, Clarke."

She ignored him and continued to look at the stars, her mind probably flying away in thought and leaving him behind once more. Still, he sat there with her, waiting until she finally talked. He remembered the first time they had actually talked. The first time he realized that he had been wrong about her. She wasn't the spoiled brat that the most rich people in the Ark were. There was something genuine and soft inside her that made him want to cringe at his craziness and darkness. She surprised him more when she looked at him with those eyes filled with sincerity and genuine worry at the words that left his mouth.

Indeed, she left him. And he was angry at her for that, yet almost every night he found himself wondering where she was and fi she was even alive. When Gina came, he thought he had actually forgotten about her, about his feelings for her. That all changed the moment he saw her tied up in that cave. And from then on, it was nothing but the pain and joy of simply caring for her. Loving her.

It was weird thinking about it. He wasn't used to these kinds of things, but he didn't really have any other choice. His heart had chosen to love her and he wasn't even denying it. It had hurt when he saw her with Finn. It hurt even more when she told him that she was staying in Polis as the 13th Clan delegate. He didn't miss the look she and Lexa shared and he knew that he didn't have to look and see that she was going to choose her.

He wanted to laugh at himself really. He was a pitiful puppy in love when the whole world was at war. He told himself it wasn't worth it if they were all dead so he focused on saving his people, on keeping them alive, not knowing that he was actually endangering them one by one. And before he knew it, it had blown right up in his face. He had broken everything. He had broken everyone.

"I'm sorry."

Her voice pulled him back to reality as he blinked several times before looking at her, finding her blue eyes looking back at him.

"I'm sorry for everything."

He could see the tears in her eyes. The pain of loss. Regret. Anger. At herself. The self-loathing. Everything in her eyes screamed _I am a monster_. Shaking his head, he pulled her in his arms, knowing that the first drops of tears were about to come rolling down her eyes. He should be angry with her. He should be angry since she did leave him and everyone else to suffer. But he wasn't and he couldn't. Not when he understood what she was feeling.

"I'm sorry." she said once more in a shaky voice.

He pulled away to look at her face, her beautiful face. Tingles went down his body as his hands cupped her face lightly. "Stop it. Stop blaming yourself."

"I can't...I did this. This all happened because of me."

He vaguely remembered the words that he overheard when he was slipping in and out of consciousness. He shook his head, his fingers wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks.

"It's in the past, Clarke."

"And now look at what it has done. We're all in danger because of what I did."

He frowned at her words, tilting her head to look at him. "I don't blame you."

She looked away, trying to get out of his arms. "You should. I killed-"

"Shh." he said as he traced his thumb over her dimpled chin. "You have to stop blaming yourself. If everyone started blaming everyone else, then we would all be dead before the radiation even hits us."

He pulled her closer, bringing his lips to her forehead in a kiss. "If you need forgiveness, you are forgiven."

She gaped at him, her eyes shiny with tears and shock at his words, before she buried herself in his arms, loving the way he feels around her. His warmth. His smell. It almost felt like she could stay in his arms forever and nothing bad would ever happen. It felt like she could just wrap herself in him and feel like the world wasn't going to die any time soon.

"Thank you." he breathed out a few minutes later. '"For watching over me when I was poisoned."

She peered up at him, still buried in his chest, watching the way his curls danced with the wind, the way his face look so peaceful, the way his eyes gave her warmth and comfort. She shivered and it wasn't because of the cold night. "It's the least I can do."

"No, it's not." he replied, causing her to look at him in confusion.

As if he said something wrong, he quickly looked away, clearing his throat as he pulled away. "I think we should head back now."

She didn't say anything and just followed his through the woods, noticing the fact that he was trying to hide the flushed face and that their hands were still connected. She really didn't say anything because she found out that she really liked the feeling of his hand in hers.

* * *

Somehow,. Somehow they were able to stop the radiation. Somehow they were able to save everyone else.

Now they were all tired and all they wanted was to go back to Arkadia to sleep the few peaceful days away. Clarke really wasn't expecting peace even after the radiation. She was certain something else would come up sooner or later, but right now all she could think of was getting back to camp where he would be standing by the gates, she hoped.

And the mere sight of him made her feel better already and she hadn't slept and eaten for days. They were separated during the start of their mission and they hadn't seen each other since then. She was afraid, so afraid that she wouldn't find him, that she would be too late. Now he was here. He was alive and safe. The smile on her face made her cheeks hurt as she ran towards him. The next thing she knew he was around her, his arms wrapped around her waist lifting her off the ground and spinning her around. She laughed at his antics and told him to put her down.

"You did it." he grinned at her.

God, his voice. How she missed his voice. She almost didn't get another chance to hear that voice or to see that face. And she was so stupid. So, so stupid.

"I can't believe you're ali-"

His words were cut off with her lips pressing on his in a kiss. She buried her hand in his curls as her other hand tugged him closer. Recovering from his shock, he pulled her closer until their bodies touched and tilted his head to deepen the kiss. They both pulled away, out of breath with wild grins on their faces.

"Well, finally." he said smugly.

She laughed at him, hitting his chest playfully. "I wasn't the one who kept quiet all this time."

She immediately regretted the words as they came out. But he simply shook his head, his smile growing even wider.

"I only wanted you to be happy."

She raised an eyebrow at him. "And you thought I wouldn't be happy with you?"

"Well-"

"Oi, lovebirds! You need to come back inside."

They both whipped their heads towards the direction of the voice. Raven was standing by the gate with a smug look on her face. "Unless you want us to lock you out. More moonshine for us then" she joked.

Bellamy shouted back, "We'll be right there."

Raven gave them a thumbs up and was about to walk away when she shouted over her shoulder. "By the way, about goddamn time."

They laughed.

"Well, we should head back inside." Bellamy said, pulling out of her embrace.

But Clarke wasn't so ready to let go just yet. "I love you." she said, the words coming out of her lips easily.

He froze, his eyes wide in surprise. Then he crashed his lips on hers for an even better kiss than what they had shared seconds ago. He pulled away to look at her with wide eyes and swollen lips. "Again."

This time she kept quiet and just pulled him closer and sealed it all with a kiss that didn't end until Kane came out to drag them both back inside the camp.

**Author's Note:**

> And I actually think that Bellarke isn't going to happen right away. Maybe towards the latter half of season 4? Anyway, I really do have a strong feeling that Bellarke will happen. And I know most of you do too! YESSS!
> 
> Tell me what you think guys! :)


End file.
